We often think that sharing our feelings is a great way to connect with people we love. It is… sometimes. When we are reacting and just trying to resolve our own feelings and need to “get it off our chest,” we can wind up fracturing the relationship. People may feel accused, attacked, guilted, shamed, blamed, judged, or like they are a bad person. If that is not the effect you want to have on your loved one or friend, I suggest processing before speaking. You need to respond not react. You need to be clear on the feeling’s source. What is it within you that really wants to be known. Is there something that you or the other party can do to resolve this. If not, then consider more reflection before speaking your “truth” to the affected party. Because if you’re not clear, then you don’t know your truth yet. You may need to process it with a professional.
Diane and I have lots to say about this and how to communicate more love in your life. Maybe say “I love you” MORE. Take us up on the invitation and creative ways we can be more loving.