How To Have Integrity and Be Authentic

Integrity is one of my highest values and it can be at the cost of being authentic unless you align them. My Facebook friend Marjorie asked what my Personal Success strategies are. What came to mind was revealing and may be somewhat contrary to what others may recommend. So I was prompted to dive into this priceless value of integrity. Please let me know what you think as you read this.

You’ve heard that integrity is important. I used to think that having integrity, in other words, keeping my commitments and having things in life completed, was the key to having everything I wanted in life. Indeed, life works and business flows when I keep my commitments. And I do so as a matter of practice. I regularly operate by placing integrity in every area of my life as critical priority. Without integrity things fall apart. In the world of construction a building must have structural integrity otherwise it will fall apart. Likewise, this principle operates the same way in our lives.

Yes, integrity is powerful in and of itself. Here’s the kicker for me. In addition to integrity, I know that to truly have a life that feeds my soul, I must know myself deeply, be willing to acknowledge and honor my feelings and most importantly be honest about it. Furthermore, I must make decisions and commitments in alignment with my authentic truth.

Integrity and Authenticity

When I realized the significance of my authenticity to my health and happiness, my whole world shifted. I was able to ease up on the inner critic within me and start listening to the gentler voice of my true feelings and desires. Then I could have integrity serve my authenticity. For example, if I know myself and that museums are exhausting for me and someone asks me to go, I know if I allot more than 2 hours for the visit, I will be grouchy and unhappy. So now I agree to go to exhibits that I know will take less than two hours to go through and ideally my companion doesn’t want to spend more than an hour. If he/she does, then I will let them know it’s not the right event for me to attend. This may sound like a minor thing to you. You may be saying, “Why not just go and sacrifice yourself so as not to hurt the others’ feelings?” I used to do this, but truly I was bummed out by the end of the day and no one was really happy to be there as a result. I guarantee you this, if you try to hide or deny your feelings it will come out some other way that won’t be positive.  Instead, when I am true to myself, I don’t wind up being in a bad mood anymore with the people I care about. They are happy too. On top of that there would then be time to do something I might enjoy that I could suggest.

Authenticity is not an excuse for lack of integrity by any means. Rather, it’s a way to enrich and enjoy your life more fully.  I recommend knowing oneself deeply and making sure your commitments are in alignment. Though it sounds easy, I invite you to examine your life and the times you get cranky or are in a joy-less state and ask yourself, “What is it that I need that I’m not getting in this moment? and What did I do that was not authentic that may have gotten me here?” Be sure not to beat yourself up. This is a learning process and takes practice.

The Feminine Power Cards have a certain number of cards dedicated to principles centered around making conscious choices. These cards remind you to become an objective observer (without judgment) of your life and give up placing judgment on yourself. It is then when you are truly open to what is really going on inside and you have an extraordinary gateway  to new awarenesses, more tolerance of others while not compromising oneself. Here are a couple of cards that invite us to make these conscious choices.

believe their actions when words don't match
honor your feelings as messages from your soul


Each of these cards is your invitation to explore your authentic feminine nature. The deck contains suggested practices to implement each of these principles. For now I leave you with some questions to use as you contemplate how these principles can be used in your life:

  1. Where are you inconsistencies between what you say and what you do?
  2. Are you willing to say “no” to someone who asks you to do something and put yourself first instead?
  3. What are you feeling?

Wishing you every JOY,

Coach Laura

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